Show, don’t tell: 4 powerful strategies for telling better business stories
Show, don't tell. It’s the age-old advice given to every would-be novelist: don’t describe something to your reader — make them feel it.
Show, don't tell is about painting a picture. About rooting your writing in concrete details.
And it’s not just for fiction authors. The best brands do it too.
To illustrate the power of show, don’t tell, let’s look at some contrasting examples.
Here’s a bit of business writing that’s very much at the telling end of the scale:
Our goal is to build the iconic professional services firm by delivering distinctive client service through the quality of our people. Inspiring and providing an environment in which all our people can give their best is fundamental to this aim. But we can only achieve it if we create a great place to work and have a culture that's genuinely inclusive and respectful, and which promotes wellbeing both at work and beyond.
Grammar & syntax? Fine.
Vocab? Pretty clear.
Overall message? Forgettable.
Why? Because it’s so abstract. It’s devoid of detail. It fails to paint a picture in the reader’s mind.
What does distinctive client service actually look like? What, in fact, is distinct about this firm’s service compared with that of other firms?
And what’s an environment in which all our people can give their best? What would people see around them if they were immersed in such an environment?
Everyone's going to have their own idea of what each of these looks like.
In contrast, by painting a picture for your audience, you’re in control of how your message is (literally) perceived.
Let’s compare that to a different company’s approach to talking about its open and inclusive culture.
We are world travellers, marathon runners, mothers. We work full time, part time, and everything in between. When we want to pursue an interest close to our hearts, we can. When we want to cut down on travel or take a break between projects, we do.
This paints a much clearer picture of what an inclusive and respectful culture looks like. It paints a picture in the mind’s eye of real women doing real jobs. People with lives outside of the firm that are acknowledged and supported.
It doesn't tell you the company is committed to diversity. It shows you what it's like to be a woman at the firm.
The abstract notion of inclusivity has been replaced with concrete, humans doing things.
4 ways to do “show, don’t tell”
1. Cite examples
Examples are the lifeblood of good business writing. Take that notion of delivering distinctive client service through the quality of our people. How could you apply a show-don’t-tell approach to that idea?
Easy. A create a case study that tells the story of a single client and how the org solved their very particular problem.
Or hunt down and tell the story of how an employee went the extra mile for a customer. Talk about what that employee did, why they did it, and how it made a difference.
Stories like these can take the abstract notion of service and (literally) flesh it out by showing real-life human beings taking action.
2. Ditch descriptors
Home in on the adjectives (i.e. describing words) in your writing: words like distinctive, innovative or (our current favourite), aligned.
Ask yourself what do each of these actually look like? For example:
How, exactly, are we distinctive compared with others in our field? What do we do that others don’t? How does this difference make our clients feel?
How does our innovation work in practice? What's an example of that innovation in action? Is there a specific project or customer problem that demonstrates our innovative spirit?
What does it mean to be aligned? What would that look like for people? What would we do differently, day to day? What would we see around us that we don’t see now?
Asking questions like these can dig up multiple stories to illustrate the point - and make it stick in your audience’s mind.
3. Write for Duncan
A client recently told us he’d always struggled to explain his tech business to Duncan, a friend of his in management consultancy. It made our client realise he needed to talk about his work in much more concrete, down-to-earth terms (which we, of course, helped him with).
Who’s your equivalent of Duncan? Try running your story by them.
That smart friend in a different field is your secret weapon of storytelling.
4. Draw your message
Showing, not telling means painting a picture in your reader’s mind. A useful exercise can be to literally create a picture of what it is you’re trying to say.
So take your first draft of a written message and try to recreate it in visual form. In other words, try to draw it. Or ask someone else (your Duncan, perhaps?) to draw it for you.
If you struggle with this task, it’s a sign your message is too abstract and generalised. Try to explain the thing in more concrete, specific, down-to-earth words.
(For an example of what we mean, try the exercise in this blog about creating vision statements that are actually visual).
Want help using stories to sell your business? Get in touch with us today!
